Here are a few Christmas observations, before I go back into exile.
Here is some nice X-mas music to enjoy as you go through these….
Hey Charlie Brown…… Let’s kill Lucy
Reindeer’s Big Night…. and guilt ridden morning.
Santa: Here is the ball you wanted Billy….
Billy: Kill me Santa…
Also gotta send someone to deal with the “Naughty List” you know….
Time to do some last minute Christmas shopping for the family members I’m not so close to….
The Nintendo game I would have liked to see when I was a kid….
Christmas is FABULOUS!!!!!
Let is snow….. Let it snow….. Let is snow.
I’ve placed a mistletoe above something, and you all get to kiss it.
You want a Coke mother fucker????
Here is a Kiss under the missile toes…
As a Christmas gift to you all, here is a picture of my cock….
You know…. All the shit under the tree used to be for me, before you came…
On this weeks episode of “Elves Gone Wild”….
Get her the Santa Chocolate she’ll love….
Merry Christmas Everyone
Hello all, sorry for a long period of absence from posting. I’ve been away for a while. It’s sort of difficult to explain exactly where I’ve been for the past few weeks, so I’ll just say I was in prison. I”m sure that is an explanation you’d all find plausible for the likes of me.
I’m back for a short period of time… I say that because I know I’ll break my probation and get sent back soon. But before I disappear again, I thought I’d share some of my Observations with you.
Oh by the way, just in case I miss it, I’d like to wish you all a Happy Holiday Season… and a Happy New Year…. And a Happy Easter…. Valentines Day, Fourth of July, Summer Solstice, Memorial Day, Halloween, National Potato Day, Elvis’s Birthday, National Skid Marks Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, and any other heathenish holidays you blood thirsty degenerates will be celebrating in 2014.
The wheels on the bus go….. NOWHERE!
I believe there is an evil soul living in my cell phone.
Last year I slipped Santa a mickey in the milk and cookies I left him, and then stole all his toys…
What I do 90% of the time while I am at work….
How I felt after Thanksgiving dinner… and whenever I eat really bad Mexican food.
Need to click the link to see gif
Someday, Little Toot….. Someday.
What if Disney animation went in a different direction?
Close the door quicker please….
So I guess if you fail at one, you can always try the other…
My wife and I used to use shows on Nickelodeon to keep our children busy when we wanted to have “sexy time”. But that all had to stop one unfortunate day…
Wal-Mart continues to show how much they care about their employees… By selling products even they can afford.
What a Kung-Fu movie would look like, if I stared in it…
Apparently, water makes boobs grow….
I wonder what is grown here…
Aw, Fuck…. I just bought a boat.
I’m still considering the whole Disney animation going a different direction thing…
…. and what if Batman animation was made to serve certain fetishes?
…. and Care Bear cartoons had more of an edge to them?
… and champagne commercials had a hidden meaning?
…. and trucks were full of large golden penises.
No Spongebob…. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Holiday travel can be killer…
What if Santa did not have his iconic white beard….?
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AND YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUU….YOUSH LIGHT UP MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE…. *BURP*
Hello Ladies…. My eyes are up here.
After a meal at Taco Bell… This is a Stairway to Heaven.
My wife does not allow me to do the Christmas decorations any more…
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm…. I got nothing.
That’s all I have for now… I’m outta here
Oh wait, I almost forgot the cute kitty photos to help me increase hits on my site….
I have to create this post quickly. You see it’s my lunch hour at work and that is the only time I can gain access to my site now. Our IT Nazi…errrrrrrr, I mean, IT personnel, decided that all blogs are evil. They make law abiding citizens become ravenous creatures or Republicans, so no one is allowed to view one during normal business hours. I now only get the lunch hour to work on it or view anything on it. Jesus, what’s next…? They want actual work to be done!?!?!?!?
So enjoy these few observations I have for today. I hope they enlighten you and open up that dark hole you have in your hearts, to allow you to love again.
How does a man with a very small penis compensate?
I knew it… I never trusted Poo
Sometimes I like to shut the door to my office and just relax…
Do you have a moment to hear about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?
Black hobo with white girl banana porn…. Yup, this is how it looks.
How it feels, when you are on the third hour of a ten hour drive…
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Day 32 and the cows still have not caught on…
Bacon porn…. Is the best porn!!!!
Last fucking time I go to one of those company, team building retreats…
To all those people who have un-followed me…
Silly woman… Trying to do man things….
Why are all our Super Heroes so serious today?
Ooooooooooooh…. So it wasn’t a salute after all… It was just a perch for his bird.
I hate it when Amish teens go out joy riding…
I knew that’s how it happens…
I really hate it when, the LSD kicks in as my favorite show is on….
Today’s top story…. Baby being slowly digested by shark on the beach… Pictures at 11.
A true sign of how good you are at something, is how easy you make it look.
One of the worst memories of my childhood.
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I was told that all successful websites have cute pictures and gifs of cats. Well, OK then….
OK, the last one was not of a cat… But you have to admit, his shorts were cute.
I’m sitting in my grandma’s basement, rubbing jelly donuts on my herculean chest, watching “My Little Pony” porn, and doing absolutely horrible things to my cat with a spork…. And decided that I should share another batch of my worldly observations with you (My wonderful readers). Just a warning before I start. I believe there are quite a few references to my penis in this post…. Not that, that is a bad thing… actually, it is a very good thing… But my penis can be somewhat overwhelming and you may want to find a soft place to fall down on, just in case you get light headed. I do this because I… and my penis care… OK, my penis doesn’t really care about you.. actually it is quite evil. The other night it got me drunk, stole my credit cards and maxed them out on glitter, Roman Noodles, and a chainsaw on Craigslist.
OK then, now that I’ve put that picture into your heads, here are some more things you will not be able to un-see and will never forgive me for…..
Dancing, Bacon, and My little Ponies…. My erection could hammer a railroad spike through a concrete block right now.
Is the guy sitting at the console, staring a one button? The future is AWESOME!!!!
I believe we should celebrate the penis more…
Ummmmm… Should someone let him know, he is not in New York….
After all the complaints we got from the neighborhood last year, my wife does not allow me to hand out candy for Halloween anymore…. (Hint: look in the bowl)
There are times when you really, Really, REALLY do not want to be right….
Just checking out my Facebook page…. Oh, Mittens, you are such a bitch!!!!
Once I say, ” Look at that cat’s ass”. You will not be able to see anything else…
There is a big difference between “Not giving a Fuck” and “Not giving a Shit”…
Example one: There comes a time when you realize that life is good and you just don’t give a fuck.
Example 2: For others, life has not treated you well, and you no longer give a shit…
That must have been one bad ass turd….
What my wife pictures in her mind when I try to talk her into anal….
You nasty little whore….. You want it don’t you… Yeah, you want it bad….. WHAT?!?!?!?! I have a train ramming into my wife’s ass above and you laugh… I talk dirty to a pony, and you lose your fucking minds!!!!
I was fired from my last job because the customers were upset about my excitement to get to work…
How my cat feels it should be treated…
There are no words to describe the joy my penis brings the world….
I need to end this post now, I have some important things to do…
Happy Halloween everyone!!!
Please have a very happy, spooky, & safe holiday. I hope all you guys get all the candy you desire and all you girls look really good in your sexy nurse, or sexy librarian. or sexy potato salad outfits.
Here are a few observations for the spooky season.
Ummmmm….. A picture would have worked also.
Halloween Parenting level, “AWESOME”!!!
Trick or Treat kitty… AHHHHHHHHH you got tricked!!!!
What happened when my wife asked me if she looked good in her sexy nurse costume..
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Oh no, that little boy is getting eaten by a little dinosaur!!
Tiger has seen some unspeakable shit in prison…
Oh Great…. The one day I sunbath nude, the Google satellite takes a picture of my yard.
Quite possibly the hardest decision he will ever have to make…
Check out my Miley Cyrus costume…
I have a special Halloween bag I use for those houses that hand out apples….
No time to take cigarette out of mouth…. Must drink beer now!
Why the fuck are you even doing your hair? You will never get laid wearing that!!!
This is scarier than a zombie Apocalypse…
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My jumping skills are…..
You have done too much Internet… it’s time to shut off you computer…
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I just threw this last one in to mess with you all..
Welcome to the new office of nergfoogle…
Just finished carrying in the last few boxes to the new nergfoogle office. As you can see it is much smaller than the offices of Hot Lard. But that is what I wanted. I’m tired of the big and gaudy that was Hot Lard. I’m now more into the small and friendly. Gone are the days of the Hot Lard Kill Rooms, and in are the days of the coffee bar. Out are the days of the midget hooker rodeos, and in are the days of the Prius hybrid cars. Out are the days of making millions from my barn yard porn empire, in are charity drives and equal rights marches. Ah, yes, the good feeling of….. hmmmm… Wait a minute…. Something is not right… I’m not sure what it is. There is something wrong, I assure you, but I just cannot put my finger on it…. but what??? What is the problem??
Oh well, if it was something important,I’m sure I’d remember it. Next week I’m taking signatures for the Clean Power Act and the next Occupy Wall Street. Plus I’m going to use the rest of my money to….
< WARNING> * <WARNING>* THE AUTHOR OF THIS POST IS ON HIS 4TH GLASS OF WINE. nergfoogle TAKES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE REMAINDER OF THIS POST.
…. and I have joined the international brotherhood for the right of cows and chickens to marry. Yes, it’s great to actually do things for the good of others. It has filled that hole in my heart and will let me work on a whooooooooooooo….Holy fucking shit I remembered what I forgot….
I’M A REPUBLICAN!!!!
Oh fuck, I have really messed up bad.. Oh shit… Oh Fuck… What the hell am I going to do?
I cannot believe I just gave away all my shit!!! What the hell am I going to do??? I want my SUV, I want my midget hookers. For god sakes, I VOTED FOR REAGAN….. TWICE!!!!!
Sigh… While I figure this out, check out these observations…
It’s high five day at the office…
Damn, the Olympics are getting tough…
Rock on Kitty!!!!
When the cute girl at the office asked me to cover her with white stuff… This is not what I thought she meant.
I’m on my 5th glass of wine… LET’S DANCE!!!
Need to click on the gif to see it
You ever smell a fart and not know where it came from?
I think my cat is trying to freak me out… (Editors Note: you really should smoke a bowl and watch this for the next three hours)
The Kitty Matrix…
This is quite possibly the most awesome thing I’ve ever seen…. (And I have just enough wine in me to try it right now)
A different meaning to the term of, “Touch Em All”… and I like it!!!
Fuck you bitch, this is now my gym…
It’s hard to argue with a building…
I believe someone has slipped something into my drink…
I’m at that part of the drunk where I’m getting hungry, But……
I’m too drunk to do any spell checking on this psot……
I will never ever, never, never ever eat celery again…
This was sex education in the 80’s…
I wonder what the first thing women think of when they meet me?
Hey, I found our seats….. Uh, never mind.
Mom… Candy Crush is not working….
I really hate it when I bite my tongue…
I think it’s time to go choke the chicken…
When a jogger has a heart attack, what is the last thing they see?