You should tie the shoe laces of the dead together.
So when the zombie apocalypses occurs, it will be hilarious to watch them…
Hello all, sorry for a long period of absence from posting. I’ve been away for a while. It’s sort of difficult to explain exactly where I’ve been for the past few weeks, so I’ll just say I was in prison. I”m sure that is an explanation you’d all find plausible for the likes of me.
I’m back for a short period of time… I say that because I know I’ll break my probation and get sent back soon. But before I disappear again, I thought I’d share some of my Observations with you.
Oh by the way, just in case I miss it, I’d like to wish you all a Happy Holiday Season… and a Happy New Year…. And a Happy Easter…. Valentines Day, Fourth of July, Summer Solstice, Memorial Day, Halloween, National Potato Day, Elvis’s Birthday, National Skid Marks Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanza, and any other heathenish holidays you blood thirsty degenerates will be celebrating in 2014.
The wheels on the bus go….. NOWHERE!
I believe there is an evil soul living in my cell phone.
Last year I slipped Santa a mickey in the milk and cookies I left him, and then stole all his toys…
What I do 90% of the time while I am at work….
How I felt after Thanksgiving dinner… and whenever I eat really bad Mexican food.
Need to click the link to see gif
Someday, Little Toot….. Someday.
What if Disney animation went in a different direction?
Close the door quicker please….
So I guess if you fail at one, you can always try the other…
My wife and I used to use shows on Nickelodeon to keep our children busy when we wanted to have “sexy time”. But that all had to stop one unfortunate day…
Wal-Mart continues to show how much they care about their employees… By selling products even they can afford.
What a Kung-Fu movie would look like, if I stared in it…
Apparently, water makes boobs grow….
I wonder what is grown here…
Aw, Fuck…. I just bought a boat.
I’m still considering the whole Disney animation going a different direction thing…
…. and what if Batman animation was made to serve certain fetishes?
…. and Care Bear cartoons had more of an edge to them?
… and champagne commercials had a hidden meaning?
…. and trucks were full of large golden penises.
No Spongebob…. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Holiday travel can be killer…
What if Santa did not have his iconic white beard….?
Need to click to see gif
AND YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUU….YOUSH LIGHT UP MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE…. *BURP*
Hello Ladies…. My eyes are up here.
After a meal at Taco Bell… This is a Stairway to Heaven.
My wife does not allow me to do the Christmas decorations any more…
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm…. I got nothing.
That’s all I have for now… I’m outta here
Oh wait, I almost forgot the cute kitty photos to help me increase hits on my site….
No comment or explanations is needed….. Actually this one has left me pretty much speechless.
Again to make nergfoogle a more personable site, I’ve decided to share some more information about myself. A picture…
I have never shown a real picture of me on my blogs… As far as you know. The people that run the witness relocation program I am in, said it was for the best.
So I decided to show an old picture of me from the 80′s. And being it was just Veterans Day, I decided on an old Navy picture.
Here I am performing one of my many important Navy duties. I believe this was a cardboard boat, I and a shipmate built to leave behind in the Mediterranean sea when we left to head home. It was sort of a tradition….. That we started. As you can see, it was a very majestic looking ship that we were sure would sail the Mediterranean sea for years to come…. And if I recall correctly, it sank some 5 minutes after we set it afloat… Never said I was a good sailor.
Photo taken between 1986 and 1987.
Now, I’m sure you are wondering which one is me…
I’m the one wearing the Navy dungarees and I have my hand raised above my head.
Oh… and I’m smiling.
Still can’t figure it out…. GEESH, OK ,one more hint. I’m the white guy.
I want to take a moment and apologize to all the people that write the blogs I follow. Lately I have not been going to your sites to read and enjoy your wonderful posts, and give you my normal off color comments or a “Like”.
Normally, I use whatever free time I have at work or at home to get to your blogs and read what’s new. But unfortunately two things have happened that has prevented me from being able to do so. Those things are Nazis and addiction. That is correct, here lately I have had to deal with Nazis and addiction and I believe my two adversaries are winning.
First the Nazis… Or what you may refer to as your work place “IT personnel”. You see, my IT person at work does not believe in freedom or laughter; and believes that any site on the Interweb that gives you these things should be blocked. Unfortunately, Nergfoogle and all your wonderful blogs fall under the freedom and laughter categories, so naturally they have been blocked. With the exception of a 1 hour window during lunch, I cannot view any (And I do mean ANY) blog from 8am to 5pm. I guess I could try to get to all your sites during my lunch hour… But that is when I go outside and throw raw meat at the people that live under the bridge. And if I am not allowed to do my charity work… life is just not worth living.
Because of the Nazis at work, that pretty much leaves me with when I am at home to be able to go to your blogs… But that then gets us into the addiction part of my story. Right now I am fighting an addiction… No, that’s not correct; I need a different word than “fighting”. Oh, I know… Right now I am completely enjoying and embracing an addiction. Yup that’s a much better description. Because truth be known, I’m loving this addiction. I cannot wait to get my next hit, and have pretty much blown off all may other responsibilities for this addiction… and I really don’t care!!! Right now my veins are pulsing, and my mind is race, just thinking about it… That sweet, sweet high that can only come from one thing….
Yes, fellow bloggers, I have a Breaking Bad addiction. You see, I’m probably one of 5 people on the planet that has never watched a single episode of Breaking Bad. From 2008 to just a few weeks ago, this show was on AMC, and I had no clue of its addictive qualities. I’ve read and watched a lot of very good reviews on the show, but could never bring myself to watch it. I have no real good reason for not tuning in…. Well it did air at the same time I normally poured gallons of Elmer’s Glue on the slow (but lovable) neighbor kid. But I could really do that at any time… To be honest, I prefer to wait till 3oclock in the morning and sneak into his room while he is sleeping to do this. That way I can leave him a note from the Tooth Fairy saying this was retribution for him having no teeth to collect. My goal is to have him start pulling his teeth, so I can put them under my pillow and get free money. Did I ever tell you that some of my neighbors have restraining orders on me?
Anywho… I decided that I would put my (one month free / No obligation to sign up ) Netflix account to good use, and watch every episode of Breaking Bad. I figured a month should give me time to get through the 6 seasons the show aired. I started the pilot episode around 6pm last Friday evening. This is how my weekend went…
Friday 6PM…………………………………………………….. And it’s Monday
I did not even watch ANY football this weekend. This show is addictive as the drugs they sell. In case you are one of the other 4 people on the planet that have not seen the show. It is about a high school chemistry teacher who makes crystal meth with one of his flunky students. So yes, it focuses on family values and the importants of studying hard in school. I managed to get through the first 3 seasons and part of season 4 this weekend…. And still found the time to feed my children….. At least once or twice….Hmmmmmm, I did feed them… right? You know, now that I think about it, I don’t remember ever seeing my son during that time…. Or even after…. Oh I’m sure he is out with friends…. Or maybe that knock on the door Sunday was child services….. Again.
Well anyway, what I’m trying to say is that right now, I must give into my addiction and finish out the Breaking Bad series. I’m hoping that it will be rainy this weekend, and I can get through season six by Sunday. I was considering not sleeping, to get it done faster. But I need to be well rested when I sneak into little Billy’s room at 3am and cover him with glue.
So to sum up… I’ve got a free month of Netflix, and I’m going to suck the marrow out of its bones before my time is up. I’ll try to get to you folks when I can… If not, I’ll see you on the other side.
I have to create this post quickly. You see it’s my lunch hour at work and that is the only time I can gain access to my site now. Our IT Nazi…errrrrrrr, I mean, IT personnel, decided that all blogs are evil. They make law abiding citizens become ravenous creatures or Republicans, so no one is allowed to view one during normal business hours. I now only get the lunch hour to work on it or view anything on it. Jesus, what’s next…? They want actual work to be done!?!?!?!?
So enjoy these few observations I have for today. I hope they enlighten you and open up that dark hole you have in your hearts, to allow you to love again.
How does a man with a very small penis compensate?
I knew it… I never trusted Poo
Sometimes I like to shut the door to my office and just relax…
Do you have a moment to hear about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?
Black hobo with white girl banana porn…. Yup, this is how it looks.
How it feels, when you are on the third hour of a ten hour drive…
Click to see gif
Day 32 and the cows still have not caught on…
Bacon porn…. Is the best porn!!!!
Last fucking time I go to one of those company, team building retreats…
To all those people who have un-followed me…
Silly woman… Trying to do man things….
Why are all our Super Heroes so serious today?
Ooooooooooooh…. So it wasn’t a salute after all… It was just a perch for his bird.
I hate it when Amish teens go out joy riding…
I knew that’s how it happens…
I really hate it when, the LSD kicks in as my favorite show is on….
Today’s top story…. Baby being slowly digested by shark on the beach… Pictures at 11.
A true sign of how good you are at something, is how easy you make it look.
One of the worst memories of my childhood.
Click to see gif
I was told that all successful websites have cute pictures and gifs of cats. Well, OK then….
OK, the last one was not of a cat… But you have to admit, his shorts were cute.
Motivation for the masses.
These should help you all get through your day…
You are welcome.
Plus, it’s late, I’m tired, and I really did not want to write anything…. Sooooo yes, this is a lame excuse of a post….
Again, you are welcome…